|Tosh Merino Light in Tart from Loveknitting|
I've been wanting this exact skein for YEARS. Madelinetosh Merino Light in Tart- isn't she lovely?
I finally caved when my favorite new online shop started carrying it. I ordered two skeins but one sold out from under me so all I have is this single precious bit. One is enough. Well, not really because I could fill a tub with this and still not have enough- but one is a great start. I will be making an Ishbel (the 7th!), my favorite shawlette pattern ever designed by the lovely Ysolda Teague.
I'm also going to breeze past my love affair with Ysolda. Love her.
So what's the deal with this one skein? Why is it so awesome? I have tons of other red yarn. I even have two different colorways of this yarn base that sit patiently in a drawer (Spectrum and Plaid Blanket, in case you really needed to know!)
Well, the whole purpose of this post is to talk about knitting with intention. For years I have made hat after hat, sock after sock, sweaters that kinda fit but not really, mittens with a slightly off color scheme. Basically, just knitting for the sake of knitting. To keep my hands and mind busy while life does it's thing around me.
Yeah, it is therapeutic. Eventually the hats get passed out among friends. Socks wear out. Sweaters get donated. Another set of mitts gets shoved into the drawer near the front door. Something just doesn't sit right with me though. I will scroll through my pages on Ravelry and have absolutely no memory of making certain projects. This is HOURS of my life that pass without me noticing. And the money spent of the yarn- yeah, that's another thing to breeze past!
Sure, endless hours dinking around on your phone or playing video games is fruitless (not picking on anyone- I do these things too!) I would much rather have a finished product to show for my hobby. So yeah, I do this thing. It is useful, exercises my brain, is fun, and is cheaper than drugs (and golf!) What's my problem?
I think I am finally to the point where knitting isn't an overwhelming obsession. In fact, it makes me feel guilty and sad. I neglect other things while I sit and knit something that isn't really necessary. Nobody is going to go cold waiting for me to finish up that scarf right away. I have no desire to knit for charity. Maybe that sounds mean, but honestly think about it- they would rather have the money instead.
And sad- yeah, I get sad. It reminds me of my LYS closing. Not having those few hours a week to myself. Friends lost in the drama of it all. My grandma dying. My mom and Mark getting really sick, overwhelming anxiety and depression- it all got tied up in yarn. Knitting used to be my comfort and now it reminds me of loss and heartache. And then the weeks that followed I binged on yarn left and right because retail therapy reared it's ugly head and the only thing I enjoy shelling out money for is yarn.
Yarn, yarn, yarn.
Oh look, I suppose I did want to mention drama.
This week I have been focusing more on what I am making and not just keeping my hands busy. I went a few days without knitting (GASP!!) I chose a yarn to play with because the color made me smile. I ignored the old skein that has been neglected since 2008- again. I have no obligations. I have no deadlines. I DON'T HAVE TO KNIT. I have no pressure, imaginary or real, making me do it- so I'm not gonna!
I actually enjoy cleaning my house. I love having things tidy (oh, Marie Kondo, I love you almost as much as Ysolda!) I used to enjoy cooking. Carcassonne, Catan, Fluxx and Munchkin have taken over our house. I wrote a blog post! And maybe I will try this exercising thing that people keep talking about?
Back to that skein of Tart- why mention it? Because I actually have a project in mind to match an outfit I already have. It won't sit idly by waiting to be made into something I won't wear.
It is the embodiment of intention for me. And it feels good.